Ivory Octopus

Oh hey, didn't see you there. I guess I haven't written a blog in a while. Tisk Tisk. The past couple of weeks were kinda crazy but it's settled down quite a bit now. I had finals week to worry about and moving to do. I'm staying in the same apartment complex for summer and fall semester and I wanted a change so I moved all my junk upstairs. We have 6 people in our apartment, which isn't unusual for fall but it is for summer. We all get along really well though and I like all of them. Everyone is a little different but we mesh well together. Even though it's just the very first week of summer, we've already accomplished a lot, including errand running, canal swimming, tie-dyeing, wackee 6 playing, and Davi and I discovered the tanning bed. We actually did it for the second time yesterday. She stayed in for 15 minutes and got this nice little tan and I stayed in for 6 and got this nice little...red. I guess you could call it a burn. I look darker because of the slight redness, so it's not so red that you can tell it's a burn. I am afeared that once the red goes away, however, that I will just go back to normal white. I'm sure some of you are thinking "Jessi, you are going to get skin cancer. Don't go tanning ever again." and to you I say "I know, I know. I'm a doctor too." I'm being careful. It's amusing to be white sometimes but during the summer I can literally blind people with how very pasty I really am. Why couldn't I have just been born back in the day when curly dark hair and fair skin was the thing? Maybe I'll just go live in Thailand. They bleach their skin to get it whiter.
Anywho, I don't really have any super cool writing to share with you. I did write a poem for class but I pretty much hate writing poetry 1) because it always ends up sounding dumb and 2) because I'm not good at it and, if you remember, I don't like trying to do things I'm not good at. I can write funny poetry but when things start getting serious, I run away. Perhaps just for kicks I'll stick my poem on the end of this blog. In the mean time, I would like to point out the stark reality of the possibility of falling in love with fictional characters. It *is* possible. I know you're wondering if this is an autobiography. Well it's not, exactly. If you look around you at all the Twilight fan-girls and Harry Potter nuts, you will see that what I'm saying is true. You can fall in love with someone who doesn't exist. Take Finn from Glee, for example. They tell you his story. They develop his character. You see him in the show about as much as you would see him in real life if you were a member of their little fictional world. You could, very plausibly, develop feelings for him because you feel like you know him. You are in love with Finn (not Cory Monteith, who is a real person, but his *fictional* character, Finn). That's what the producers and directors and authors want! They want you to have feelings for these people who don't exist so you'll become invested in what their doing. If you're reading a book and you don't care whether the main character gets the girl or dies a horrible, painful death, you wont read it again and you'll probably tell your friends to come to a book burning party with you. It's a cruel reality, really. Lonely girls left and right are dreaming of what their lives would be like if they could only have Edward Cullen or Harry Potter or Finn or whatshisface from whatever he's from. Just throwin that out there.

Poem. I hate it. The end.

Ivory Octopus

Piano girl,
and her cello boy;
a melodious duet.
The piano and the cello
unite in stunning perfection.
Her hands dance wildly across the keyboard,
striving to keep pace with the music
like an ivory octopus
darting across
an acrylic ocean floor,
tentacles surging
with the waves of the song,
left and right
so fast you can’t believe
they’re only hands.

The audience listens
on the edge of their seats
while the melody lifts them
on an atmospheric chariot
into a place between here and there.
Streams of musical air
float all around
and lift them up
through the ceiling.
The room is empty.
Only the piano and the cello remain,
communing together
in an endless dimension
where music is the only language.

Fashion Oracle

I finished writing Merriam and Ernest! Perhaps I'll give it a different name now that it's done. I don't know and for some reason I'm really picky about who I let read it. I think only 2 people aside from me have read the entire finished thing. Maybe I'll get over that because I think it's pretty cool; much more interesting when you get the whole thing, rather than just the end.

On an unrelated note I would just like to add that it feels like summer in Rexburg. We've had an accumulation of gorgeous days this week and I want the 7 week break to begin right *now*.

On a second unrelated note, I have to train a yearling for my Animal Handling class. We have 3 weeks to get them up to par (easily caught and saddled, let you clean all 4 feet, yada yada) and, quite honestly, I'm a little nervous. One of our mares is really sweet. She's a red roan and she already lets you touch her legs and stuff. The black mare is a turd. She pins her ears back every time you even try to get near her. I want to name them Strawberry Avalanche and Kamikaze (See what you've done to me?? You know who you are...) I'm probably going to die. It sounds really cool though, right? Not the dying thing. The training thing.

This week's writing is brought to you by...Zebra cakes. They're so good, I could eat 50 in one sitting. In fact, I could probably live off of Zebra Cakes and sour Gummy worms for the rest of my life. Anyway, I wrote this last year in my ACC class thingy (that's Austin Community College for you non-Texans). We were learning about satire and I think it was that we got extra credit if we wrote one. Maybe. I don't remember. So, without further ado, here it is:

Beauty has been one of society’s greatest obsessions since the dawn of time. Everyone wants to be in on the newest fashions or have the most contemporary hairstyles; some even spend thousands of dollars a year on cosmetics and designer clothing. Recent breakthroughs in medicine and technology have even allowed people to alter their physical appearance through cosmetic surgeries. Civilization’s most recent fad is the result of one such breakthrough. This new sensation is feeding the appetites of some of Hollywood’s biggest stars, as well as many of our own humble citizens. Scientists have successfully begun giving people what they want: Third Eye.

Third Eye, in addition to being the new favorite accessory of thousands, has become a beacon in the fashion industry of all that is and all that is yet to come. In order to obtain this superb seer stone, surgeons simply remove a small portion of the skull, which acts as an additional socket. They then cut out a tiny fraction of the brain, but this piece is “insignificant,” says Dr. Lou D Cruss. “Humans hardly use that section anymore.” Surgeons then take the eye from a saline solution and “pop” it right into the newly carved socket. Daily upkeep includes nothing more than specially prescribed eye-drops a few times each day.

“I love it,” says one happy receiver of this fashion forward fad. “I’ve never seen anything quite like it.”

Another fashionista says of the ornament:

“It’s great how they let you pick the eye color. You can match it to your own, or choose that color you’ve always wanted.”

Although vision is not yet available with Third Eye, advances in science are not far behind the people’s demands. Scientists are working with a newly assembled research organization called ‘Let There Be Sight!’ in order to accomplish their goal of granting vision to those with Third Eye.

To those critics of Third Eye, Dr. Cruss says this: “It’s just like getting a tattoo. It’s a way for people to express themselves and if others can’t see that, they aren’t going to fit in with our ever changing society.” Dr. Cruss has also made it clear to critics and fans alike that anyone who changes their mind about Third Eye can always have it removed and the gap closed up.

There are hardly any consequences to speak of and the possibilities are endless with Third Eye. Call your local plastic surgeon and get yours today!

P.S. Guess what the frontal lobe is used for